Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
