i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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