if you like me you must not know who I am
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
