man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she told me i tasted like america
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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