Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
