LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
