Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
