awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
