Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
