i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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