i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
