The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
