I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
