I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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