Your tits are I can't wait for
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
