There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
