Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im holly from the hills drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
