just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
don't judge my taste in strippers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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