Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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