My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
