is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
