We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
