My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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