the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
