You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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