Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
