He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
