It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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