Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
