Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
