It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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