so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
