I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
