the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
