I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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