WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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