He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
