32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
