I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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