honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize