in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
