you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
