Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
