i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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