Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
last night I used snow as a chaser
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
