Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
