once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
