I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
