Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
