A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
