Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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