Where is the hickey?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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