im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
