Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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