Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Randomize
