you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
