So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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