he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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