somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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