My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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