in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize